I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
