he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
