why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
