my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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