I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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