We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
