I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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