I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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