Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
