We won't sleep together?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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