But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
