I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
