she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
