Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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