1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
