im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
