I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
