weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
