So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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