Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
