Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
