JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
