Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize