Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
