never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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