But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
