i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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