Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
