Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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