If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
