Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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