Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
