Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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