I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
