some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize