I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
