your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
