Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
