Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
