She's JV to your varsity
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
