I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
