Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
