Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
