Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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