Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
