do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
