Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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