told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
