Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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