I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
