I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
