i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
