I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
