Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
