we're blogging at a bar
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
