some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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