But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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