No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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