genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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