this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize