They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
