Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
