she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
