worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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