i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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