I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize